Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Just pee around me
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
