She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
