...so i touched it.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize