Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
