Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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