have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
This house was built for laser tag.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Randomize
