we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
A+ Viking dick
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
