she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
