i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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