Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
