what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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