Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
