It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
false alarm, still single
Randomize