i just google imaged poop.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I need to sanitize my soul.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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