doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
hell yes lets make some ravioli
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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