Porn is love you can see.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
