She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
