when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
