It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Randomize
