So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Randomize
