My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
