Can Purell be used as lube?
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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