mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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