Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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