What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Randomize
