I am in a vortex of obligation.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
