time to smoke my breakfast
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
