He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
