dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
