yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
