Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
