I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
