I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize