Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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