No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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