We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize