at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
