I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize