I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
