it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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