oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I want to fling myself into the sun
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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