Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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