So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
