Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
