dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
