What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Randomize
