508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
