My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
