When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
