I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
