Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
