Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
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