I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I enjoy the company of your penis
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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