there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
