She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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