So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
