she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
