dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
