Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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