I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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