I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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